The Creation or the Creator??

Relationships are messy. They are based on love and not legalistic (hopefully) and they are worked out as two people learn to trust each other. The longer we focus on relationship with God, the more we grow to know His heart and trust Him. The less we fear... thus the less we are subject to doubting our own random "feelings" or emotions. We are in tune... we are one with the one we are in relationship with.

If I become insecure in Christ's love for me, the Bible isn't going to convince me long term. Only real relationship will bring me to a place of trusting in God's love. "The Bible tells me so" may get me through for a short time... but without relationship and revelation of the truth of it all, I have nothing to stand on and I may even misinterpret based on what I think the Bible says.

I believe the Bible is scripture. I agree that it is good for guidance and reproof and correction. But my question is when did we begin to replace the Word, Christ, with the Bible.

We spend so much time looking for what is sin and what is not sin... define it, manuever around it. People struggle to find biblical points to prove their position. But If we are in love relationship with God and thus each other, none of it matters. Who cares if it's sin or not. It doesn't apply to us. Sin is no longer the issue. Christ is! We are all transitioning to the Truth of God that dwells within us through the Spirit, because the Word is written on our hearts (as told to us by the Bible) and realizing who we are in Christ.

We all want something concrete to live our lives by... and because we want security, "human nature" and fear drives us to hold on to the rules.... the Law... But the law brings condemnation and death. True security is found in the person of Jesus Christ. Life is in him and living it well is learning to trust in his love for us. There seems to be a differnce between the knowledge of what I think the Bible says and knowing the loving heart of God toward me through relationship.

The "natural" state of things... "What?? No one ever told me!!!"

I've been thinking about how to make better use of this blog. I find it very cathartic to write. But making the time is always an issue for me. Oh, I have the time... I just don't make it. I use my time doing other things. Some of them are important, but many of them are not. I'm the kind of guy that likes to finish what I start in one sitting. I don't like to do things in small pieces. Ultimately, that means that I tend to put myself in rough positions of not starting something big until I have lots of time to do it. (which, by the way, I almost never have.) hmmm.
So this is an attempt at taking a small bite. So let's get on with it. (by the way, I'm writing this as if there is some part of the masses out there that is actually reading it. I realize that is probably not the case... but hey.. I can dream.)

I guess a little laying of foundation is in order.

I want to become Fearless. I want to live my life without worry. Trusting in myself and my God who is not only "out there" but within me to work things out and make decisions and succeed according to the true definition of success .. not some imposed societal crap.

To do that, I want to first consider what "they" told me about fear. (I don't really care who "they" are. It's just a tool of expression.) Webster's definition isn't so bad. It's what we've done with it that screws us up. Webster says fear is " 1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined. 2. An emotion caused by the threat of harm or the perception of the threat, prompting a decision to fight the threat or escape from it.

Society and so-called experts (professional psychologists, articles and self-help gurus) have taken this definition and said to us.."Fear is caused by the external stimuli or perceived stimuli not by you. It is identified as being outside of ourselves. i.e. "Guns scare me, heights frighten me, her anger worries me, I’m anxious about the job interview”. They are saying that those things make me feel a certain way.

As long as we hold to those definitions, we are victims of something that is beyond our control. This is in opposition to “we are in charge. I am in control of my own feelings."

The key words here are bolded above. Perception ... real or imagined... IF we believe we have something to be afraid of, then we are afraid. Or if we have been conditioned to believe that it is necessary to be afraid of something, then that something automatically triggers "being afraid". It isn't the item, the issue or the person that scares me. It is my belief about it/them that allows my response to be fear.

Hear this lie, as perpetrated by "them". “All human beings experience anxiety. A mild to moderate amount of anxiety is normal and beneficial. Anxiety can help an individual be motivated to prepare for an upcoming event and can help them keep focused on the task at hand. Individuals who have no anxiety, when faced with important decisions and issues, will lack alertness and focus”

So not only are these people saying that anxiety is a natural part of the human condition… they are actually recommending it. While parts of the statement may be true, the conclusion is dangerous. Anxiety may do what they say. But is it the best tool to use to accomplish motivation, focus and alertness???

Let's take their concept through its natural progression. If what they say about anxiety is true, then, when you are faced with a very important decision, what is the conclusion? … well, I guess that it means we need to be very anxious. If we are struggling with a lack of focus or alertness… we should become even more anxious to compensate and improve it. What does that say about a “life changing event” such as marriage, the death of a loved one, the birth of a child or a serious illness? Well, if their logic is correct, then we should PANIC!!

At first, it sounded good. Tasted kind of familiar. It sounded almost empathetic and compassionate. I could identify with it. It wooed me. But if I follow the logic, it doesn't work. Not only does it not work, it is not consistent with the heart of my Father, God, who tells me... "Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine."

As I have said before, it is also inconsistent with the Spirit and the fruit that comes naturally from being "in" Him. More and more, I find that the fruit of the Spirit is my thermometer. It is my gauge as to whether or not I believe the truth at that moment. And when I find myself in a place where I am not experiencing the fruit of the Spirit, I don't run from the moment. I don't fight the feeling. I experience it and I ask God what the Truth is.

Never run from your unhappiness or fear. Run towards it. In fact… embrace it.
When we run away from the things we find uncomfortable or disconcerting about ourselves, we put distance between an aspect of ourselves and our ability to gain insight and mastery over it.

When we run towards it, we actually encounter it. We see it and give ourselves an opportunity to see it more clearly as we allow God to speak truth to us about it.

If we suppress it, if we judge our feelings as bad and say "I shouldn't feel this way", then I run from it and stuff it inside somewhere behind a locked door. My position is not to say my feelings are bad or even that my feelings are good. My position is, my feelings are an indication of what I believe and therefore, they are an opportunity to explore myself (with the Lord leading the way). I choose if what I am feeling is what I want. If it is, I am free to continue in it. If it is not what I want, then I am free to explore my own beliefs; identify the Truth that dwells within me (the WORD - Christ), and be happy (love, joy, peace, etc) because of that Truth.

Hmmmmmmm. I'm thinking...

Is it possible that the perception of the threat is an illusion?

What's the truth here, God?

Believe.... happiness follows.

a letter.....
I know I have a tendency to “over-explain” an idea. So I’ll do my best to keep this short. But for my own clarity of thought, I sometimes have to walk through the logic…. Even if it is repetitive.

I’m not sure we define happiness the same.

I don’t define happiness as smiley, outwardly emotionally “up”. And I don’t want to put an expectation on you to “be happy” for appearance sake.
I think I define it in the broad sense of the word. Peace, contentment, internal joy, emotional rest. More of a condition of the heart rather than an appearance on the outside.

I would also define it by what it is not as much as what it is. Not fear, turmoil, anger, anxiety, … blah blah blah. You get the picture.

However, happiness is not the shallow “absence of pain” that the world preaches. The question is not “what would make me happy right now”. More often than not, that question is answered by … “whatever makes the pain go away.” That is the question that leads to addiction.

The question is... "What am I unhappy about and what do I believe about it that makes me unhappy.?" Change the belief and happiness follows.

For me, happiness vs unhappiness is simply the evidence of what I believe. Happiness isn’t the goal… It’s the gauge. I’m not looking for smiles and giggles. I want the truth that brings peace and contentment.

I’ve searched scripture pretty thoroughly about this and I’m confident that scripture and experience supports the position that emotion comes from the belief. I’ve worked on this in my life for 30 years to find out if it works by experience. And I’ve found it to be true. (although I frequently forget to walk in it. I am getting consistently better…. Much to your credit for talking with me.)

It isn’t about emotion. It’s about belief. Belief drives the emotion. So to me, the objective is not “to be happy”. It’s to find the truth. To trust in the Truth. To believe that which is real. Believe the truth and the emotion naturally follows. To further define truth… not so much “what to do” but the truth of who I am and who God is in me…. confidence and wellness and love.

I've heard it said that we are our own best experts. If we are, it is because of our Oneness with God. Truth is found in the Holy Spirit and the Spirit dwells within us. (I postulate no preconceived judgments re: the exclusivity of who the Spirit dwells in. ) Is it within me? Yes. You? I’m sure of it!! But I have a profound sense that it is not me alone. It is not me by myself. It is the “complete” me. The one who is One with the Spirit of God.

Forgive me if I’ve already said this but bear with me…. I’m not preaching. I have to go through the logic for my own clarity…

For me, there is this Truth that is within me that I can’t separate from myself. Jesus, who is “fully God and fully Man” came to make us one with God. (I don’t think we were created one with God. I think we were intended to be, but never “partook of the tree of Life”. That’s my theology and I think it’s accurate.) Jesus was one with the Father and he made us one with them. He accomplished that. Building on that premise… if he made us one with the One who is fully God and fully man…. In essence and truly, he made us fully man and fully God. Yet I cannot escape the deep sense that it is “not I (alone) but Christ who dwells in me”. (but in a much larger sense than we are normally taught.) Personally, I can’t separate the two. I can’t acknowledge me without the sense that it is truly me but also God who is in me. So when I am walking in this… I have a profound and deep appreciation for the Father and for what Christ did in us all.

When I remember to “be”, I find that my path is not about what should I do. Or how I should feel. (“happiness” is just my thermometer.) It is about what I believe. When I remember… I choose to believe truth… and I am at peace. It doesn’t work for me to focus on or deny the emotion or to attempt to change the emotion. (“I’m going to be happy now.”) It only works for me if I take the time to review and decide the belief. (“I’m unhappy because I’m afraid of fillintheblank. I don’t need to be afraid because I can trust myself and God in me.”) Sometimes I can shortcut to “I can trust…”.

Frequently, I forget it’s about belief and I go back to struggling with the emotion. It is always futile. I am remembering more often now.

So when I say “I want you to be happy”. I guess I mean “all of the above”. I want you to believe in yourself and God in you, not because you are “better” in the egotistical sense, but because it has been revealed to you… thus experiencing Peace, contentment (but still free to want the best for yourself), trusting that the path will unfold and you don’t have to worry about it. And ultimately free to love.

Does that make any sense at all?

Love enough to ask questions.

As we allow ourselves to care, God provides all the right questions. You see if you care, you will ask questions rather than just give “The schpeal”

One night I was online. And as is my custom, I stopped by a Christian chat room to watch all the Christians talk among themselves. I found a young man cursing and swearing at the Christians in this particular chat room. Their response was to threaten him, quote scriptures at him and tell him what a terrible sinner he was. But not one asked him why he was hurting so deeply that he felt he needed to curse God and his believers. So I asked him why he did this. (this is an actual excerpt from the conversation.)
Me - "May I ask why you come to a Christian site to attack believers?"
Boy - “Because I like to.”
Me - “Only Christians?”
Boy - “Yeah, so what?”
Me - “Just wondering. Have you ever wondered why you target only Christians?”
Boy - “I never thought about it”
Me - “Why do you think it is so?”
Boy - “Because I hate God”
Me - “hmm, and why do you hate God so much?”
Boy – “Because he took my parents from me”
Me – “If I’m not prying too much, may I ask what happened?”
Boy – “Car wreck on their way to church.”
Me – “I’m so sorry that happened. How old were you at the time?”
Boy – “5”
Me – “That must have been very painful and confusing for you. And how long ago was that?”
Boy – “Eleven years”
Me – “I can see as a five year old how you would come to the conclusion that God took them. But is it possible that as a 16 year old you can look back and re-evaluate the conclusion of a 5 year old?”
Boy – “Whadaya mean?”
Me – “Well, It happened as they were going to church. To a five year old, that’s God’s territory. It had to be God’s fault. But at 16 you are old enough to examine the conclusions you made as a 5 year old and ask yourself if it is true. Bad things happen to good people all the time. They happen while people travel to church or to the hospital or to school. But in the midst of these things happening, there is one truth. God loves you and cares for you. He is a good and perfect father.”
Boy – “Why don’t you just shut up and leave me alone. Just leave me alone.”

I wish I could say this young man changed his mind. But one thing did happen. Because I took the time to ask questions, he knew that I cared. Even if his mind didn’t like it, his heart knew it. And by the time I told him that God loved him, I was a credible person in his eyes. What gave me that credibility? Simply that I cared enough to ask questions. If I don’t take the time to establish that I care, how can I expect him to believe me when I tell him God cares.

I may never know the outcome but I know his heart was pierced by the Holy Spirit. How? Because he changed in an instant from the aggressor / attacker / tough guy to scared and defensive… “why don’t you leave me alone”. Do you see the significance of that statement? This boy who came to the chat room to attack Christians and curse God, was now afraid to examine his own heart. He was afraid that the love of God might somehow get in. He cut off our conversation because his heart was in danger of being exposed. And that’s OK. It’s a beginning. It is the planting of a seed. It is planted into soil that has been prepared just a bit.

Exposing our heart is a good thing. It’s scary and sometimes fills us with anxiety. It is the thing we protect the hardest, build walls around… refuse to let anyone in.

The possibility of opening our heart requires courage.

New every morning!

Lamentations 3:22-23 (King James Version)
22It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

What if... because of Jesus' accomplishments on the cross, all things really became new. And because all things (including God's mercies) became new, in Christ, there is so much more available to us than new mercies every morning. The "new mercies every morning" of Lamentations was under the law. What if the work of Christ, the Grace, was so great that an all encompassing mercy so vast and so powerful, engulfed us so that we are never apart from the huge mercy of God. One with mercy. We no longer need new mercies every morning. We live in such a vast mercy, flowing in our lives in the power of the resurrection. Grace personified in every part of our being. Oh God, GREAT is thy faithfulness!

So much more than I used to think.

I’m sharing how I see things and the references I have over the years. Some of them may be messed up but they’re part of the path until they change. Much of what others say is valuable to me and challenges me.

My reference may be a little different than yours because I lived a life for the first 20 years, not understanding how Jesus loved me and died for me. For various reasons I won't go into here, except to say that I grew up with certain religious misconceptions... my references about love and God were somewhat skewed. As I’ve said before, I viewed God as an uninvolved, distant, somewhat aloof entity who was waiting to beat the crap out of me with a wire hanger once he got fed up enough and snapped. And when I had waited so long to get beat and it never came, my eventual assumption was that he didn’t even care enough to beat me.

When the light went on, the transformation was instant and dramatic. The revelation was instant. And the knowledge of the love and what Jesus did for me on the cross, was instant. (as limited an understanding as it was… it’s only gotten larger as the years have gone by.) And as I’ve shared before about my conversion experience, the battle was real. There was something going on in another dimension that I could feel but not participate in except to keep saying… “don’t give up on me... don’t give up on me.” I don’t think the battle was for my salvation, but for my heart. And there was no mistaking that when the battle was won… it was won for sure. It was in my heart, beyond my mind. It would take a while for my mind to catch up but my heart knew the truth.

Allow me to expound a little to put some of my thoughts into words. It helps me clarify my own beliefs. I'll probably be a little repetative but please bear with me.

With regards to Jesus, in the simplest yet grandest way, there is something that he accomplished for me. His life was about the life we can have. Him being him was about me “being” as well. Lately I have begun to view scripture, not as a mandate about what I should be or do, but as a declaration of who I really am. For me, it’s been very enlightening.

There really was something accomplished on the cross and resurrection that couldn’t be accomplished by anyone else or any other means. He did it as our brother. But he was different. He was God and one with God AND also fully man. We were only man (lower than the angels). He chose the cross because he loves us. And yet in doing it, I believe that is when he became our Savior. “Savior” in the sense that he elevated us to the level above the angels to be heirs with him … not in the sense that “we could become subservient to him”. We became a new creature that is fully man and one with God. Thus he (Jesus) is worthy of our honor and love, as is the Father. In rising from the dead, he became a further example of the limitless power and trans-dimensional existence. When we get past the “salvation” part and on to the sonship/brother part, we can love him at a different level. Not because we have to, or because we are grateful (which we will always be), but because of who he is and who we are in him (with an even greater awe and gratitude). I really believe that recognition of his Sonship is key to our sonship.

There is something in the Bible that I really believe is true. It is the part that says because of the work that Jesus did on the cross, the old man and old things are passed away and all things become new and we are a new creature in Christ. Through Christ, his sacrifice and resurrection, I am no longer the old man and I AM the new elevated creature. I wasn’t the new creature until Jesus, through the creative power of God, made me so.

I am really starting to get the fact that I am only subject to the limits of the old man when I believe that he is who I am. But when I believe and trust that I am the new creature, then the things of the old man blow away like smoke. (like Meshak, Shadrak and Ebednigo sp… without a trace of smell of the smoke.) And the believing is not something that I have to stir up or generate energy around. It is so much more about resting and trusting and just being. That is what I’ve been doing with catching colds… simply knowing and remembering that I am not that guy who gets colds. I am the guy who is not subject to those things. It’s funny that I seem to have to learn it relative to one thing at a time or a few rather than getting the big picture and applying it to everything. The Bible says “as a man believes in his heart… so he is.” Preachers have applied that to good and evil. I think it could apply to something far beyond good and evil. I think it might apply to the life of believing who I am vs who I was. To me, in light of who we are in Christ, being concerned with good and evil is inconsequential compared to “being” the new creation.

I think maybe the old testament prophets had a version of it, or maybe they had all of it, but that it was only available to them on an individual basis. But when Jesus paid the price for ALL, then all became new creatures. Then the Holy Spirit came to all, not just a few... filled all with Power… wrote truth into the hearts of all.

I really believe that the work that Jesus accomplished on the cross and in his resurrection was the key event that made us who we are. He was God who became one with man… and he did what was necessary on the cross, so that we who were man, became (past tense) one with God. I’ve heard that Jesus reset the scale and brought us back to where we were (through Adam) in the Garden. That doesn’t ring true to me. While Adam communed with God, I don't think scripture says anything about him being one with God. I wonder if we aren’t more than Adam. We are who Adam was supposed to be. He never got to partake of the tree of Life. I wonder if the work of Christ didn’t take us beyond what Adam was. I think it’s very possible that Jesus made us more than Adam. He made us who Adam was supposed to become had he “eaten” of the tree of Life. Even back then, the tree of Life was Jesus.

[ "good bye, Mr. Anderson.".... "My name... IS NEO!"

more "being"

Part of my focus lately has been about “being”. It really seems to be bigger than I first thought. I find myself frequently asking myself…”Is that who I am?... or who I was?”
It seems to me that if I can come to a place of realizing the miracle of being a new creation in Christ and just relaxing and being that creation, that I’ll discover that the power was there all along. That also includes being one with God who created this new creation. I realize that might be a little contradictory to the things you’ve been experiencing but I think it’s my way of growing into who I am.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Pondering the possibilities. Thinking how “being” who I really am might impact others. It doesn’t seem to be only about my own feelings and life. It seems like the power to speak into existence the healing to others or deliverance or whatever will accompany this as well. That the power is part of who I already am.

I’m starting to believe that everything I have hopes of becoming… I already am. I’m trying to accept it and rest in it. I want an epiphany... maybe I already have it.
:o)

"Being"

I realize I started this thing and then never continued with it. I published some rantings about failure and God's lack of validation. To catch up... I think I realized something between then and now.

In the past, I have exerted a large amount of effort checking off the boxes on the list of all of the things I needed to do to lay-hold of (acquire or walk in) the promises of God according to scripture and according to my understanding of His heart. I did everything I could think of and when that failed, I assumed that there must be something else that I was supposed to do. So I sought God to add to my list of to-do's so that I could succeed. I didn't want wealth for wealth's sake or health so that I could party more. I just wanted to be able to trust that God would back me, when I was doing the ministry I believe He called me to do.

My entire point of view was in becoming what I was supposed to become so that God could do what he was supposed to do. So I set about checking off the list. Prayer? Check. Scripture? Check. Tithing? Check. Check, check, check, check, check!!! I was exhausted. And still no change in my life or in God's supposed provision for the good (and Godly) things I believe he called me to and I was trying to accomplish. I recieved all of the platitudes from well-intentioned "knowers" saying what they believed they were supposed to say. "where God guides, God provides." What kind of crap is that to say when the ship is sinking?

So I worked myself sick trying to accomplish the checklist and then fretted myself sicker by trying to imagine what it was I was missing and not checking off.

In the midst of it all... God said one thing to me over and over. "Keep the family together!". For those of you catching up... my wife and I have a home for women who are in recovery... recovery from anything ... addiction, trauma, abuse etc. The women have become and continue to be family to us. We love them deeply and God's grace is abundant. So God said "Keep the family together."

We lost the home that the women were living in with house managers etc. So, in keeping the family together, we moved the ladies into our tiny house until we could afford and find a bigger place to accomodate us all.

Back to the big picture... the list and the belief about the list.
As I began to ponder all of what has happened... I began to view it in the light of the love of God and the Grace of God. I began to realize that my point of view was skewed based on what I believed needed to take place in order for the blessings to flow my way. That sounds a little self-serving. But I think my heart and motivation was good, it was my belief in the relationship between me'n God that was in error.

I realized that I was not "becoming". I am. The accomplished work on the cross by Jesus Christ, makes me a new creation. But as long as I believed I was the old creation, I behaved and acted like the old creation. I was living a lie. The truth is ... I am the new creation. God could not bless the lie. As long as I was attempting to become, I was infusing God's grace with my own attempts.... my "law" so to speak. Grace cannot be polluted by law and still produce fruit.

I began viewing scripture differently. Instead of viewing it as instruction about what I needed to do to become, I realized that it is a declaration of who I am... In Christ... because of what He did. Not because of my checklist. Of course I've always applied that to sin. I know that my own righteousness is filthy and that I trust in the righteousness of Christ for the forgiveness of my sin. But if that is all I think, then I find that I'm limiting the cross of Christ.

So if the premise is true, then what is the application? Well, I'll give you an example. This winter, I have been confronted numerous times with a chest cold. Each time it began to rear it's head, I asked myself, "Am I the guy that will catch the cold? Or am I the new guy who is healthy, just like Christ is healthy?" I wish I could say angels began to sing or that I was able to muster some huge faith. But I they didn't and I didn't. But do you know what did happen??? I didn't catch the cold. Not once. Now for a guy who has had a cold every fall and spring for 20 years... that's saying something.

I am. I'm not becoming. I'm not working my way to becoming. I am! I am because of the finished work on the Cross. Jesus said, "it is finished!" I'm beginning to think he meant a whole lot more that I used to give him credit for.